


come back to me (you're all i ever wanted)

by danniperson



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Heartbreak, M/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 18:16:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5550488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danniperson/pseuds/danniperson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One mistake, one slip, and you've ruined everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	come back to me (you're all i ever wanted)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ieatmyfeelings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ieatmyfeelings/gifts).



The first time Steve made love with Tony, he knew there would never be anyone else.

 

They fell into each other to chase away the memories that plagued their dreams.  He opened Tony thoroughly and slid inside of him as if he'd waited his entire life to do so.  Tony's ankles had hooked around his back, pulling him closer, deeper.  He moaned so prettily, clutched at him so desperately, and they came hard and fast and they fell asleep in a tangled, sticky mess, free of dreams.

 

And they fell in love.  They fell in love over diner burgers and war stories.  They fell in love with Tony poring over Steve's sketchbook and Tony's technobabble, excitement leaking from every word, spilling off of him in every gesticulation.  They fell in love with duets in the car and picnics at the beach.  They fell in love on the battlefield, with every argument and every apology.  

 

Tony wasn't so good at expressing himself emotionally, but his mouth turned filthy in the bedroom.  It was Steve who whispered sweet nothings when he took Tony apart, with every purposed thrust of his hips.  And it was Tony murmuring fondly about what a slut he was and how good he took it when he was fucking him from behind, Steve clinging to the headboard for dear life.  Tony liked licking the come from his chest and Steve liked the taste of it on his mouth.

 

Nothing changed when they married.  Tony's cock sank just as deeply into him on their honeymoon and Steve still took him all the way into his throat during a conference call, with Tony biting into his hand to muffle the sounds.  Two, four, six years later and Tony still came home sometimes and shoved him into bed and rode his cock like he was starved for it, even if they had last made love that morning.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

Howard was similar to Tony in many ways, but so different.

 

Steve had been stuck back in 1947 for five months when he went to Howard's bed.  He'd hidden from the world at Howard's mansion, hoping to find a way back to his own time or for Tony to bring him back.  He'd found Howard drunk and charming and devastating.  He'd been lonely and Howard was some of the only company he had.  Howard was so like Tony, and so not.  

 

Every probe of Howard's fingers was a betrayal, but his body burned with need.  His thin mustache didn't offer the same roughness as Tony's goatee.  He was leaner, less muscled, hair of his body a little thicker.  His cock was maybe half an inch longer, and slender.  His dark eyes were bright, like Tony's, but there was a darkness there, a harshness to the glow that was absent in his husband.  Steve was half ready to stop him, the word on his tongue, when Howard pressed inside of him but Steve groaned and shifted his knees farther apart, humping his hips back into the motion.  Howard's grip on his hips trembled, hands moving with more uncertainty than he remembered Tony having and those were the moments his fantasy was disrupted, his beautiful husband fading away and the reality of his sin hitting him hard.  

 

Their fucking dragged on, and his orgasm left him wanting.  He slumped onto his stomach, face buried in his arms, the ice seeping back around him and he almost hoped to be gone again.  This was all a terrible nightmare, worse than the ice, for him to crave it so badly.

 

It didn't stop him from going to his knees before Howard days later, eyes shut tight, sucking Tony's cock with gusto and washing out Howard's spunk with an entire tube of toothpaste for over an hour.  However minty his breath, he was still dirty.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

When Steve ended up in 1967, he didn't know if it was a natural effect of the machine or if Tony was trying to get him back.  He held onto hope, even as Howard and Maria sequestered him into their home, hiding his presence.  Maria was beautiful and sweet, and Steve told himself he'd get back home to his husband with every hungered look Howard sent his way.

 

He didn't even last a month.  It was only two and a half weeks when Howard climbed into the shower with him, and Steve didn't tell him to leave.  He braced his hands on the shower wall, watching the water slide as Howard slid to his knees.  He willed his cock not to harden when Howard's tongue brushed down his crack.  Willed himself to turn around and pull Howard to his feet and push him out.  He planned the words as Howard's fingers and tongue invaded his body, how it was a mistake, how he was in love with someone else, belonged to someone else.  The words never came, pushed away by a moan when Howard's cock pushed into him.  It was so good and every slide of Howard's cock pushed the truth a little father into the back of his mind, but the knowledge was ever present, lingering on the edge of his consciousness.  

 

Whether Maria knew of Howard's infidelities or not, Steve never knew.  She always smiled so sweetly at him.  And when he saw that smile turn to awed joy when she looked at Howard reminded him so much of the way Tony looked at him that it was a punch to the gut.  He avoided Howard for a week until the man snuck into his bed late at night.  Steve was on his back for the first time with him, knees beside his ears, Howard fucking him so good he couldn't bite back the stream of moans and when Howard called him a dirty little bitch his cock jerked and something inside of him broke.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

1982 came around faster.  Tony was twelve years old and about to graduate high school.  He was a precocious kid, and adorable.  He'd known that, but there was a difference in noting how cute he'd been from pictures and actually seeing his husband as a twelve year old boy, conversing with him, watching him build and create.  Steve hated Howard for his neglect.  Maria showered Tony with affection, but it was Howard Tony turned to for approval and Howard who clammed up and offered only words of how much  _better_ Tony could be.  Nothing his son ever did was good enough, not even his acceptance into MIT.

 

Young Tony made Steve think more and more of His Tony.  He dreamed at night of Tony drilling into his body, hands roaming his flesh expertly, purring into his ear about how tight he was, how he'd been German engineered for his pleasure.  It was Steve who sought Howard out on those nights.  Maria and Tony were always fast asleep and Steve would meet Howard in the den, in his office, in the kitchen.  However much he hated Howard, it wasn't more than he hated himself.  So he lubed himself up and stretched himself out and sank down onto Howard's dick, shifted his hips until Howard hit his prostate until he was a moaning, groaning mess.  Anything to drive away the sight of his dick in His Tony's mouth alongside Young Tony's tongue poking out while he worked.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

1994 came and Maria was dead, but Howard wasn't and for the first time Steve realized there would be consequences for what he had done, and they were bigger than he'd ever imagined.  For the three months he was there, he floated around in a state of unreality.  Three months passed by in moments.  Howard bending him over the dining room table, fucking him even when Edwin Jarvis came in to serve the wine.  Jarvis never blinked and Steve could only hide his face shamefully in his arms.  Tony visited rarely to consult with his father, to work on business, staring at Steve with curious eyes that Steve only imagined held accusation.  This Tony didn't know him.  This Tony didn't love him.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

When he returned to 2020, it wasn't his world.  It wasn't real.  It was a nightmare he'd wake from at any moment.  The pictures on the mantle of himself beside Howard, donning stylish suits at their wedding, Tony standing awkwardly to one side.  The ring on his hand wasn't the gold, infinity symbol carved lovingly underneath the band, that Tony had designed for him.  It was platinum and plain, worth thousands of dollars and not much else.

 

He was cold and hot all at once as he sank down onto the couch, hands trembling as he rubbed his face.  Memories of his old life and his new one warred in his mind.  He'd been lonely, missing Tony and turning to the nearest comfort he could find.  A man who reminded him enough of his husband to be tempting, and different enough for it to sting.  Shards of his broken heart were settling into his stomach, a numbness settling over him as if he'd somehow missed the breaking of his own heart.  It hadn't happened all at once, but slowly over the years.  He breathed in deeply, heaviness in his lungs, in his chest and stomach.  

 

"Hey there, soldier," Tony purred into his ear, hands kneading his shoulders, breath hot in his ear.

 

He had memories of this new life.  He knew he had Tony now, in some way.  He knew that Howard was in Hong Kong for a week and that Tony would appear every day.  The smirking man in his lap looked exactly like his Tony, and nothing like him.  The quirk of his lips was all wrong, a dimness in his dark eyes.  There was so much of Howard in him that it made Steve's skin crawl.

 

But Tony still knew exactly where to touch him, and the tongue coaxing his nipple to hardness was just as skilled, if lacking his warmth.  In a daze, Steve let Tony guide him onto his side, the other man curling up behind him.  Steve closed his eyes, covering them with his hand in case any of the wetness leaked out.  His body responded to Tony's touches, absent of all the need Tony once inspired in him.  This wasn't the man Steve had fallen in love with, and when Tony's cock opened him wide, his stomach churned and bile rose in his throat.  The pieces of his heart ached for what he'd lost, and he grasped at the fading image of His Tony with his thousand watt smile and his electric kisses and his hands burning his flesh like fire.  Steve wrapped himself in the memory of his warmth.  As Tony fucked into him, Steve settled his free hand over Tony's where it lay on his stomach, and when those fingers didn't lace through his, holding him close, the tears flowed silently into his waiting hand.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry. I read a horribly heartbreaking fanfic last night and decided I had to torment myself further.


End file.
